Summer has now been and gone, the kids are back to school and I am now back to blogging and creating videos! The summer holidays was not the reason I stopped – depression was – but I’m now feeling ready to force myself into continuing in the hope it’ll help me out.

I’ll save what we did throughout the summer holidays for another post, for now I’ll focus on back to school.

I thought I’d be clever and do most of the back to school uniform shopping at the beginning of the summer holidays. However the kids decided to have growth spurts during that six weeks, and I had to buy some extra stuff at the last minute to make sure they went back in stuff that fitted! Now, on the fourth day back, I’m still doing back to school shopping for stuff that I forgot like outdoor PE kits.

Connor, Lucas and Lacey have all settled back in to school with no problems at all as expected. Connor is doing his first full day today so we’ll see how that goes but I don’t expect any issues with him, he loves his time at school.

Sadly things haven’t been as straight forward for Rhianna who has now started Year 6. As those of you who know us personally will know, Rhianna spent much of Year 5 outside of the class environment, instead spending a lot of time in ‘The Hub’ on her own. She hasn’t been to The Hub again as yet in Year 6, but is finding being back in the class environment a struggle with her shyness.

After the first day back she told me she had spent most of lunch playtime on her own crying with nobody to play with, which obviously made me feel awful for her as nobody likes their kids to be feeling lonely. Thankfully she had better second and third days, and I’m now hoping she can turn a corner and integrate herself a little more, and maybe in time it’ll help bring her out of her shell more.

Sometimes I feel like she’s my only worry in the world and that I don’t give enough attention to my other children. Rhianna really needs a good year though, as it’ll be all new to her once again next year as she’ll be starting high school. It’s important that her confidence picks up a bit this year.

Logan will be starting three mornings a week at nursery from this coming Wednesday. What I’m going to do with myself on those mornings I have no idea, it’s been a long time since I found myself with alone time on my hands – knowing me I’ll probably just sleep! My depression doesn’t allow me to do much else.

On that note, things have been pretty bad throughout the holidays. My kids had more than enough fun times don’t get me wrong, but nowhere near as much as I personally would have liked to have given them. Time was there, money was there, but because of my anxiety and depression the motivation to get out and do things was nowhere to be seen on many occasions.

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Author: Stuart Wright

I'm a 34 year old widowed father of five young children, and these are my experiences of 'Being Daddy'.

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